What are you, a detective?

  • Who is your favorite villain?

    I love a hero-turned-villain. I think the first season of Once Upon a Time does an incredible job with Regina (the Evil Queen) and it’s the only time I’ve ever liked a Snow White retelling.

  • What's something you're terrible at?

    Any variation of Super Smash Bros. I’m bad at them all.

  • If you could eat any intangible concept as an ice cream flavor, what would it be?

    Lying in a warm bed, in a dark room, next to closed window during a windy thunderstorm.

    Lot of prepositional phrases in that sentence :|

  • if you could only pick three electrical appliances to use for the rest of your life, what would you pick?

    This one is really hard. I’m so lazy and I don’t want to do my own dishes or laundry :(

    But I have to go with a tablet (because you can use it like a phone and a computer), one of those combo washer/dryer machines, and an air conditioner because I cannot sleep when it’s hot.

  • if you could time travel, where/when would you go?

    Okay, here’s what I do:

    1. Get the largest bottle of extra-strength motrin I can find.

    2. go back to medieval England

    3. set up shop as a witch, build a reputation of being able to cure anything, send people on wild quests to bring back a shooting star or whatever

    4. crush up the motrin and mix it with some apple sauce or something and watch them lose their minds

  • you enter a room full of everyone you've ever met, living or dead. Who do you look for first?

    My younger sister was getting her doctorate in toxicology and disease processes. She passed away in January of 2020. I would find her first because I have A LOT to catch her up on re: disease in 2020 and funny memes.

  • What's a food you would eat if it were offered to you, but you would never buy on your own?

    Oreos. I don’t like them, but I do crave snacks and sometimes they are around.

  • What's your favorite disney movie?

    Meet the Robinsons! Criminally underrated!

  • Do you think you're more of a skateboard, a long board, or a penny board?

    I’m a skateboard, for obvious reasons.

  • If I gave you infinite money to build a themed restaurant, what would you make the theme?

    Like a series of interconnected treehouses where each treehouse has a different regional cuisine, but also they’re all space themed and there’s no gravity so the food is always floating away from you.

  • (from Chuck Klosterman’s 23 Questions)

    You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But—somehow—this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though—you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front. How much cash do you give the wizard?

    I mean, I can only pay this guy one time, right? I think I’d give him $1111. It just feels like a wasted opportunity to not give him a lot of money and see what happens.

  • If aliens threatened to destroy the planet unless you beat them in a trivia contest, what trivia topic would you choose?

    the deep and rich lore of CBS’s Survivor.